Saturday, December 1, 2012

Silly Saturday

I read this on a Facebook group awhile back, and had to share the best with you. I am a native Winnipeger, I can say, yes, these are all true!

 You Know You Are From Winnipeg When....

  1. You measure distance in hours. 
  2. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. 
  3. You know of several people who have hit deer more than once. 
  4.  You use a down comforter in the summer. 
  5. Your grandparents drive at 100 km/h through four meters of snow during a blizzard, without flinching
  6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit. 
  7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled. 
  8. You know all four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction. 
  9. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-8000 with the wind-chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes, and you still stop at 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home.
  10. You refer to 7-11 simply as "Sev". 
  11. You know how to properly pronounce Lagimodiere, Disraeli, and Pembina. 
  12.  All directions start with "You take Portage..." 
  13.  The minute it hits 0 degrees, you're in shorts and a t-shirt.
  14.  Any time you're in an arena you're compelled to chant "GO JETS GO!"
  15. Mosquitoes don't even phase you any more
  16. You plug your car in during the winter. 
  17. You're proud to be Slurpee Capital of Canada. 
  18. You WERE proud to be murder capital of Canada. 
  19. If you don't know Randy Bachman or Burton Cummings personally, you know someone who does. 
  20. You can argue the merits of boiled or fried perogies. 
  21. You remember the dates of major blizzards and floods. 
  22.  You know that school is never cancelled even during the worst of blizzards
  23. You're tired of having to switch into the slow lane to drive faster
  24.  Only you can make fun of Winnipeg
  25. . It snows in May, and you don't even flinch
  26. You are proud to not wear a jacket when you are in another city and it's -1 and everyone else is all bundled up as if the next ice age has arrived
  27. You have devised new and creative ways to kill mosquitoes
  28. You get a new bike for Christmas, and have to wait 6 months to ride it
  29. The mosquito is your provincial bird
  30. You know the exact prize of every slurpee size
  31. If you're proud that we make the national news 96 nights each year because Winnipeg is the coldest spot in the nation
  32. Dairy Queen is closed from September through May
  33. If you start to get a tan line in the middle of your forehead
  34. You don't get to the airport until 1/2 an hour before your flight, yet the airport is so empty that you still get on the plane. With ease
  35. It's early December and you're blown away that the community centres don't have outdoor ice yet
  36.  If you call it a "toque" not a hat. That's just wrong
  37.   If you've worn a balaclava at some point in your life
  38.  If you actually know that Flin Flon is not a made up town
  39. If you think Winnipeg being featured in the Simpsons was one of the city's best achievements
  40. If you went to the Pan-Am Games. 
  41. If you find yourself at a cottage every long weekend, and at least half of all others
  42. If you think Global Warming is a total crock...we're still waiting for some changes
  43. If you have ever handled a sandbag
  44. You have gotten your tongue stuck to a pole or zipper
  45. You're "stuck in rushhour" means an extra 5 minutes to your ride home
  46. You walk into an arena in the winter to warm up
  47. You know the exact time in which skin freezes at different temperatures
  48. You're excited for it to be -15 outside
  49. You're SURPRISED when all four lanes of traffic are open [not under construction/being cleared] on a main road
  50. Your family activities are shovelling the driveway
  51. You call it "monkey in the middle" instead of "piggy in the middle"
  52. From Dec to Feb, any time you walked anywhere while in elementary school, the sound of Sorell boots scraping the ground followed you
  53. The cops stop to let someone J-walk in front of them
  54. You notice that the highest elevation point within a 16 km radius is at the snow disposal sights
  55.  You buy a car, and choose the colour based on what it looks like covered with slush/snow
  56. Your car is equipped with a shovel, scraper, mitts, etc.
  57. You see city construction workers on their lunch break at 8:20 AM
  58. When you see "road under construction" signs up 3 years after the city put them there. Then you call the city to find out what's going on and they say "we forgot about that." 
  59. When you can buy a home for $70,000
  60. When its not uncommon to see "Man robs 7-11 and flees on bicycle where he was arrested minutes later" on the front page of our newspaper
  61. When you move away for a year,and come back to your old friends saying "why would you ever come back here?" 
  62. You know how to parallel park on a snow-bank
  63. You laugh at Vancouver when the city shuts down because of a light powdering of snow
  64. You brag that we have the best snow clearing in the country
  65. Fashion is the latest MEC parka, accessorized with large gortex mitts, a wool scarf, a toque, sorrels and a shovel
  66.  You brag that at least it’s a DRY cold
  67.  You don't use turn signals
  68. You know exactly how many more free calls you still have to CAA
  69. You've used your ice scraper on the INSIDE of your car window
  70. You're considered 'naked' when wearing two layers outdoors
  71. You're proud that Winnie-the-Pooh is from there
  72. You've used a hockey stick to clear snow off your car
  73. You've used a debit or credit card to clear your windows
  74. When you can't plug your car in during the winter at work, you have to star it up on each of your breaks to ensure it starts for the way home