Saturday, April 7, 2012

Silly Saturday The Things Kids Say

    Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new baby in the house. Coming out of his bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep, he very seriously said, "Well ya'll better be quiet, cause my foot`s asleep."


  After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
     At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
     As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"


  An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
     Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"


A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."


 One day a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.
    She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
    He said, "I did that by accident."
    She replied, "I know that, Daddy."
    He replied, "How'd you know?"
    The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!"


    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"


 While her mother was studying the chapter on hematology for her nursing class, four-year-old Danielle asked what she was reading. Her mother said she was learning about blood and she explained how the heart pumps blood all the way through the body. Then she taught Danielle to feel her pulse in her wrists and feet.
    Danielle wandered away and her mother noticed her looking at the soles of her feet. Then Danielle twisted and turned and pulled down the top of her shorts to look at her bottom. She stretched her arms all the way around and managed to feel her back. Her mother didn't pay any attention until Danielle came back and asked, "Where do we put the batteries?"


The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
     "Now do you understand?" he asked.
     "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"


 A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
    "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?"
    Joe answered the correct airline.
    "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?"
    Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
    "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?"
    And John answered, "Mom."



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